Excel Quickie: Step to this, I dare ya'!

I own several Fitbits because i heart numbers. I am a bona fide Fitbitch. In college, i learned that Donny Rumsfeld walks 10,000 steps a day. I immediately purchased a pedometer, and i would go walk on the treadmill in my apartment complex' gym post-da club, beer in hand, if i didn't have 10,000 steps at the end of every day. I am very competitive, and i was not about to let Rummy beat me. If he walks more steps than i, the terrorists win!

Now i've leveled up with a pedometer that also monitors my heart rate, syncs with my phone, and signals to my peers that i have made it! Since i'm no longer in the service industry, i rarely get 10,000 steps in a day any more. Whatever! Rumsfeld's probably sitting on his fat ass these days too! Neither of us are getting younger! Don't judge me!

Anyway, i've tweaked my daily step goal down to my average so that i wasn't so downtrodden every day i didn't meet my goal. Now, if i beat the average, i'm raising the average! Those are numbers i can step to!

Weekly, i get a progress report from Fitbit, as can be seen above (suck it, Joe Chair!) And then i re-calibrate my overall average, and make that my new goal! When last i checked in, my overall average was 6,492 steps per day. As you can see from the chart below, i got my first Fitbit (i wore one into a pool, lost one in France, and dropped another in the ocean) 7 March 2014.

My lifetime steps are 3,992,206. Which means my new daily average is 6,513 steps--that's a .3169% increase! Alright, shut up--any increase is good!

Comments

Zombie Cafe Optimization

In this game, one has a stupid zombie staff that one gets to serve disgusting meals to idiotic customers. Naturally, it was my favorite. Once a zombie chef finishes preparing a meal, they place the serving dish on a counter. From there, zombie waiters can obtain one serving of a meal to deliver to a seated customer. Since the amount of time it takes for a single customer to be served has a trickle down effect on the entire restaurant (quickly serving customers yields higher tips, rapid turnover increases profit and prevents customers from leaving angrily due to inadequate seating, extended service times increase the overall number of waiters needed to serve a steady flow of customers, etc.), obviously it is crucial to optimize this factor of game play. One element of the serving process that greatly affects service time is the location of the serving dish, since this modulates the amount of time for a stupid zombie waiter to obtain a disgusting dish, bring it t...

Kingdom of Loathing Crafting

This is me. Crafting is a large part of KoL (Kingdom of Loathing, a delightful browser-based, multiplayer role-playing game). As a disco bandit, i am skilled at the art of cocktailcrafting. There are many discoveries i've yet to make, so i need to keep track of what ingredients i need to acquire to make new drinks. The left column denotes the type of item i hope to discover. I've also got a Chef-in-the-Box which helps me cook fancy dishes. Green cells denote items i already have. Below is some of the equipment i possess, organized by type. The "Handed" column refers to the number of hands required to wield a weapon. Note that some weapons require three hands. Meat is the currency of the Kingdom of Loathing. If you combine some meat, you can make meat paste. With meat paste, you can glue other items together, creating familiars, gear, usables, etc. The parenthetical statements following some of the items describe the quests, locations, o...

Find Yourself a Husband! (don't talk about the constitution)

Makeup--technically none of us need it, but so many of us use it. Research shows that we primarily use it because we're anxious and insecure and want to appear less noticeable, or because we want to be more attractive, and have been taught that our natural, untouched faces are un attractive. Cool! Not only is makeup crazy expensive, but it expires relatively quickly. What's that you say? "Expiration dates on my eye shadow?! I ignore the expiration dates on medication, so there's no way I'm taking an expiration date from a company called e.l.f. seriously!" Sure, you seem credible. Well what if i told you expired makeup can cause breakouts; skin parasites; infections; loss of vision; puffy, red, and/or swollen eyes; styes; conjunctivitis; pink eye; and more? Still want to put that shit on your face? Didn't think so! But how to track this? Let's start with the PAO (or "Period After Opening") symbol that's on most co...

Excel Excess

Search This Blog