Excel Excess

I don't know about you, but when i draw smiling unicorns, i reach for the white crayon when i go to color their teeth.  But what if, when your co-workers are coloring pictures of you climbing out of a pit full of snakes, they reach for Banana Mania or Desert Sand when coloring your teeth?  Alternatively, are you vain and addicted to coffee and red wine?  Sounds like you need to whiten your teeth! "I live in Starbucks!"  "I am a (red) wine-o!"  "I care too much about how i look!" "But teeth whiteners are expensive," you whinge.  There, there, stupid.  Haven't you ever heard of the Internet?  The Internet makes things cheaper, and saves you the trouble of having to get off your lazy ass to obtain them! I am lazy.  Thanks, the Internet! Amazon does an especially good job of this:  for many items, if you "subscribe" to them, you save 5-15% off the normal price, and get free shipping.  And you can always unsubscribe as ...

In life, sometimes it's hard to get to your spreadsheets.  Maybe you're playing a computer game that takes up your entire screen, and you can't reach your netbook that's on your home network and accesses all those spreadsheets you've stored on your shared external hard drive. Or maybe you're researching RAM cards so said computer game will run faster, but you're using the POS computer you hacked into at your bartending job.  Anyway, in such instances, you have to use nature's spreadsheet:  paper.  Here're some sweet examples of my less digital spreadsheets.    Best for you?

Today's post comes live from my Control4 training course, via my MacBook Pro.  Obvs, this' a MSExcel blog, but today i'm using Apple's Numbers.  We'll see how it turns out, as i have little to no faith in Mac's approximation of MSOffice.  All the nerdery of being surrounded by fellow home-automators has got me playing my favorite browser-based, multiplayer RPG, KoL. Me! While completing the Me and My Nemesis quest in The Secret Tropical Island Volcano Lair, it became necessary for me to decode the Rave Disco Combos in order to make the ravers drop equipment (rave visors, baggy rave pants, pacifier necklaces, etc.) which would increase my Raveosity. The Secret Island Volcano Lair These combos consist of three discrete steps (Break it on Down, Pop and Lock It, and Run Like the Wind), and are randomized per player per ascension.  Since there're three steps, and each combo consists of each of the three, the total number of potential combinations is ...

These are a few of my favorite things. As we all know, the goal of beer-drinking is to get drunk.  But here in America, people are sometimes so preoccupied with not getting fatter, that it gets in the way of their beer-drinking.  Supposedly, this is why light beers were invented. However, it is my belief that light beer, since it is typically lower in alcohol, defeats it's own purpose by requiring you to drink more of it to get drunk.  For this reason, i have collected the above data.  The table includes some of my favorite beers, in addition to all the shitty "frat beers" that people waste their time drinking.  The beers are sorted in descending alcohol to calorie ratio, i.e. drunk to fat ratio. The results are kind of upsetting, but telling.  I've also been trying to collect the data necessary to compile a alcohol to cost component (i.e. drunk to poor ratio), but this is more difficult with the fluctuating and varying costs of beer.  If any...

I'm up to four graphs. Guess how long it takes me to go grocery shopping. Guess how i spend my Friday nights. But guess where i'm going to buy eggs!

This is me. Crafting is a large part of KoL (Kingdom of Loathing, a delightful browser-based, multiplayer role-playing game).  As a disco bandit, i am skilled at the art of cocktailcrafting.  There are many discoveries i've yet to make, so i need to keep track of what ingredients i need to acquire to make new drinks. The left column denotes the type of item i hope to discover. I've also got a Chef-in-the-Box which helps me cook fancy dishes. Green cells denote items i already have. Below is some of the equipment i possess, organized by type.  The "Handed" column refers to the number of hands required to wield a weapon.  Note that some weapons require three hands. Meat is the currency of the Kingdom of Loathing. If you combine some meat, you can make meat paste.  With meat paste, you can glue other items together, creating familiars, gear, usables, etc. The parenthetical statements following some of the items describe the quests, locations, o...

Now with more grocery stores!   Who wants to go on my grocery (s)tour? Three graphs!